Treadmill Playlist

Why yes I do work out, thank you!… And how to fight through that crushing boredom? How can I stay on a treadmill for 25 minutes without succumbing to ego-destroying introspection? Well, I’m blasting the scream-iest music on my iPod. (I can keep in shape or keep my hearing — not both.) So, a sample treadmill playlist:

Artist – Track
Lyrics I mumble to myself”

The Beatles – Blackbird
“La, la, la, la… la, la, la…..”

James Taylor – Fire and Rain 
mhraa… ammmrr… again…

Start running:
N.W.A – Fuck tha Police
“FUCK THA POLICE! Coming straight from the underground!” (don’t mumble anything else out loud)

The Real McKenzies – Whiskey Scotch Whiskey
“Whiskey Scotch Whiskey, I love my Scotch Whiskey, and I’ll drink my Scotch Whiskey until the day I die” (x8)

Bad Religion – Turn on the Light
“Buuuurrrrnnnn! Like a roman-fucking-candle!” (iPod blows out right earphone. Goddammit.)

Rage Against the Machine – Sleep Now in the Fire (plus buzzing in right ear. Goddammit.)
“I am the Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Mar̃r̃r̃ia”

(I try fixing the buzzing by gently blowing the earphone’s diaphragm back into place.)

NOFX – Punk Guy (plus lots of buzzing in the right ear. Goddammit.)
“He’ll puke on you/ He’ll fuck your mom/ He’ll smoke while huffing gas/ He was the punkest motherfucker I ever did see”

(Try blowing into earphone again. Success!)

Dropkick Murphys – For Boston
“Boston Boston Boston Boston Boston Boston Boston” (not technically the lyrics…)

System of a Down – Deer Dance
“Pushing little children with their fully automatics, they like to PUSH THE WEAK AROUND!”

Bill Monroe – Blue Moon of Kentucky
Blood is pounding in ears. Can’t mumble along. Can’t even hear song. Want to die.

Otis Redding – Sitting On the Dock of the Bay
“<whistle warbling through sweat>”