Abridged List of Personal Items

I’ve a box I keep with me filled with personal stuff. Letters and knickknacks I want to hold on to. Plus things that just fall in. I feel the urge to go through it about once every eight months, which times out nicely to how often I move. This move, though, I decided I need a larger box, so I’m going through items one by one. Here is an abridged list:

  • Plaque for Best Comedy at the Portland Phoenix Film Festival
  • Brochure from trip to Dachau
  • Al Franken’s autograph on cocktail napkin.
  • Spanish to English flashcards I made in Bolivia, including translations for “Brought to Justice” and “riots.”
  • Three brands of condoms
  • Baseball cap covered in American flags, which reads “11th Annual Bill Vorhies Memorial Golf outing — Children’s Burn Camp.”
  • Left over tickets from Fanelli’s Traveling Theme Park. Amherst, MA.
  • 17 letters and postcards from 6 girls. Five addressed to “Ritchie ♥”. Two addressed to “Ritchie Fuckin Wilson”
  • Lots of props from short films.
  • Holy Shit! My Magic cards! A green and red deck. I gotta find someone to play MTG with.
  • Ohh, and an individually cased Wrath of God!
  • Photocopied Op-ed from Donald Rumsfeld. Handwritten words at the end make the bio read “Donald Rumsfeld is the secretary of defense. He is personally unpleasant.”
  • Piece of a German Bunker taken from Normandy.
  • Piggy Bank shaped like a Greyhound Bus, Vermont and North Routes
  • Five scraps of paper with electronic of physical mail addresses. I never wrote to three of them. Whoa, the Urban Gladiator is still wrestling. Fucking sweet.
  • Fliers handed out at protests in three continents.
  • Nothing, so far as I can tell, from Great Barrington, MA.
  • Ten random items for which I have no memories, don’t know why I kept them, and no longer hold any significance except that they were once significant. I’m pretty sure all of them were part of some romance.